Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
