Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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