what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
