JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
