just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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