those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
