I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
