Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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