you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
