If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
