Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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