I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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