oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
