Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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