DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
