What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
