I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
