bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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