he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
