That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
