playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
