Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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