Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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