Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
