Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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