Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
