Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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