I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
should my penis look like a turkey
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
