You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You pole danced in your parka.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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