its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
