I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
