you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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