a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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