Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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