So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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