no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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