I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
me + whiskey = a bad person
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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