Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Too much gin, very little bucket
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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