does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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