Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
PANTIES FOUND
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