My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I AM VODKA MAN
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
