Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
