if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize