I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize