I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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