tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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