dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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