the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
