I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
