Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
