he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
