the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
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Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
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I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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