i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
