the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
