"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
