I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
false alarm. still invincible.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
