i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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