I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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