I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
