my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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