She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
