I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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