We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
