i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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