I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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