quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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