i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize