Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
