Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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