he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
